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As you sit across from a commitment-phobic man on a date, you might never know it. As we enter our fourth decade in life, most of us start looking for something serious, so we only date people who say they're looking for something serious too.But there's a problem that almost every single girl over 30 has encountered: __After 30, almost everyone says they're ready to settle down, even if they're not.__In our 20s, it's normal to not be ready to marry, so a disinterest in lifelong commitment at this age is no big deal. It's fairly easy to tell that a guy in a bar checking out other girls or spraying champagne in every picture on his dating profile might not exactly be marriage-minded.This question could reflect nothing more than curiosity.

He has an answer ready about why he was never married; he hasn't met the right person, or he focused on his career. He won't work things out, he won't compromise, and he won't bend. Suddenly, after months or years of devoting yourself to this person and thinking you're building a future, you're single again wondering WTF just happened.

Plus, at one time, someone else wanted to commit to you for life, never mind that “for life” got demoted to “for a while.” I’m one of the divorced masses. Even if you ask follow-up questions, the answers shed little light on a person’s relationship skills.

About 30 percent of unmarried Americans ages 35 to 44 have been divorced, according to U. If someone was married for more than a decade, that might tell you how long the marriage lasted but says nothing about its quality.

But once a guy hits his late 30s, there's no more clear "tell." Most men at this age trade frequent nights at the bar for dinners with friends and more low-key, mature plans. They start dressing better and maybe even losing their hair or going gray.

They look different, they act different, and would dare say they're afraid of commitment at this age. But they have failed to address whatever it is that has held them back from making a real commitment.




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